Why You Must Do Shadow Work Before Calling in Your Soulmate

Marla Martenson
5 days ago
3 min read

By Marla Martenson

“In realms of heart and soul, where love resides,A spark within awakens, gently guides.Through cycles of release and rebirth anew,The path to true connection shines, pure and true.”

We all want that once-in-a-lifetime kind of love — the magnetic connection that feels like soul recognition. But here’s the truth no one wants to say out loud:

✨ You don’t attract a soulmate from the version of you that’s still hiding behind wounds, patterns, or fear of being seen.✨ You attract them when you become the version of yourself who is ready to be loved in full.

And that means doing the shadow work.

What Is Shadow Work (And Why It’s the Missing Key to Love)

Shadow work is the process of meeting the parts of yourself you’ve denied, rejected, or suppressed — and integrating them with love.

It’s not about "fixing yourself" to be worthy of a relationship. It’s about reclaiming all the pieces of you that you thought made you unlovable.

Why? Because when we don’t meet our own shadows, we unconsciously project them onto others. We attract partners from our wounds, not our worth. We settle for crumbs because our inner child still believes crumbs are safer than full meals.

5 Reasons You Can’t Skip Shadow Work If You Want a Soul-Aligned Partnership

1. You’ll Keep Attracting Wound-Based Relationships

If your self-worth is tied to people-pleasing, overgiving, or being chosen — you’ll attract partners who reinforce those dynamics. Shadow work rewires your relationship to deserving.

2. You’ll Self-Sabotage Real Love

Even when love shows up, unhealed parts of you might reject it, question it, or push it away. Shadow work builds inner safety to receive the love you desire.

3. You’ll Be Triggered Instead of Intimate

Unmet pain becomes a wall. Real intimacy requires emotional maturity. Shadow work helps you regulate and respond — not react — in love.

4. You’ll Project Instead of Connect

Without integration, we see others through distorted lenses. Shadow work clears your vision so you can truly see and be seen.

5. You’ll Feel Incomplete Without a Partner

Soulmate love doesn’t complete you — it expands you.Shadow work roots you in the knowing: you are already whole.

“In sacred space, we call upon the flame,That fuels the passions, and whispers our name. With every breath, our intentions rise, As we weave the tapestry, of love's surprise.”

Let this poem be your portal — a sacred invocation for the love that’s already destined for you. But first, do the work to become the one for yourself.

Journal Prompts to Begin Your Shadow Work Journey in Love

Where have I felt unloved or rejected, and how do I still carry that story?
What parts of me do I hide in relationships to feel "safe" or "accepted"?
What kind of love do I believe I’m worthy of — and why?
What would it feel like to be fully seen and still chosen?
What am I afraid a soulmate might see in me?

Final Truth: Your Soulmate Isn’t Waiting on the Universe. They’re Waiting on You.

They’re already orbiting your field. But they can only meet you where you are willing to meet yourself.

So if you’re still manifesting love, don’t just script it. Excavate. Soften. Integrate.

Because soulmate love isn’t just about candles, crystals, or calling in. It’s about becoming the safe place where love can land.

✨ Ready to Go Deeper?

Work With Me 1:1 Inside LIBERATE ✨

This isn’t just coaching — it’s a reclamation.

LIBERATE is my private 1:1 portal for the woman who’s ready to release the patterns, pain, and protection she no longer needs — and rise into the most powerful love story of her life.

Because your soulmate isn’t just waiting for you to manifest him...He’s waiting for you to LIBERATE you.

🔥 Inside this space, we:

Do the shadow work that actually changes your patterns (not just your journaling prompts)
Heal your heart without hardening your hope
Rewire your self-worth so love no longer feels like a performance
Anchor your energy in knowing, not needing
Shift you into the frequency of deserving and receiving

💌 This is high-touch, deep work. You and me — inside a private container where nothing is off limits and everything is transformation.

You don’t need another “how to manifest love” guide. You need to be witnessed, held, and guided through the exact inner shifts that magnetize the kind of love that matches your soul.

Connect with me at: marlamartenson@mac.com & let's see if LIBERATE is for you.